Backlog Episode 2020. Life Coach Samantha Thomas explores the reasons we sabotage our efforts to stay fit and eat right. She explains how we can get back on track and stay motivated to reach all of our health goals.
ABOUT SAMANTHA THOMAS
Samantha Thomas is the founder of Sparkd – a platform to help women heal emotional eating. She offers personalized programs on her website www.sparkdcommunity.com, is a public speaker, has her own podcast You Are Infinitely Loved and works as a personal life coach with clients from around the world.
Meet Sam Thomas and our live guests who attend the podcast interview.
WHAT IS SELF SABOTAGE?
Undermining your efforts to do good
Going in the opposite direction
Feelings of guilt
Done too often, it worsens and leads to an early death
HOW SAM TELLS CLIENTS TO STOP
Humans aren’t designed to self sabotage ourselves for no reason.
We are designed to do things that benefit us. When we have self destructive behavior, there is an advantage we are getting.
Secondary gains is what it is called – what is the benefit or advantage of the current behavior and the choice you make? For example, instant gratification.
When you feel guilty, then you do more self destructive behavior.
When we say we are getting something out of our bad behavior, like instant gratification, it comforts us, gives us energy, etc.
There ARE benefits to this behavior. Once we are clear about the benefits, then we can start asking questions on how to get these needs met another way.
We self sabotage when we procrastinate.
We are avoiding negative emotions. What we are putting off, we are associating some discomfort with the task.
We aren’t putting the task off, we are avoiding the discomfort we feel.
There is more discomfort in the anticipation of doing the task than actually doing the task.
Its best to acknowledge the discomfort and then tackle it.
Usually there is fear associated with procrastination.
Secondary gain for changing careers – the gain is that one stays in their comfort zone and feels “safe” even if it’s a job you don’t like.
Potential failure, unknown or having “skin in the game” is the fear.
It’s scary, unknown and risky.
Feelings of lack of confidence.
HOW TO STOP SELF SABOTAGE?
How to become friends with the fear
The brain sees things as familiar or unfamiliar. Familiar is safe (even if it is dangerous)
for the brain.
Unfamiliar is unsafe to the brain and will cause fear
Recognize the fear and be kind to it.
Feel the fear and acknowledge the brain is trying to keep you safe.
Most things we are fearful of are not life threatening.
Allow yourself to feel nervous and afraid.
The more you do things with the fear, the more it allows you to do the things you want to do.
Try to use examples from your own life in the past.
Fear doesn’t mean anything crazy or scary…it means it is unfamiliar.
STARTING THE DIET ON MONDAY THINKING
10 different cognitive distortions and the number one is the “all or nothing” thinking
Recognize that every breath and moment is a new start, not just Monday.
How to remove the “all or nothing” thinking?
Do you want to? Some people label themselves as all or nothing.
Use different language. “Up until now, I used to be an all or nothing person”
Stop using the language, “I always do….OR I never do…” This convinces us that it is true.
“I always try to diet, and it never works” Change to, “In the past I tried this, and it didn’t work”
Anyone can change any pattern of thinking, but that person must WANT to change and accept RESPONSIBILITY for their mindset. Must drop the victim mentality.
Victim mentality people are un-coachable.
WHAT DOES SAM DO DAILY TO STOP SELF SABOTAGE?
As soon as I recognize I do something I shouldn’t be doing, I recognize that something emotional is going on.
She asks herself “what is the emotion”? What is the need I am trying to get filled?
She pulls out a journal and asks herself what is she feeling and reason for current behavior. Then she tries to fill the emotion in another way.
Recognize the self sabotage pattern in the face and journal about it.
FOLLOW SAMANTHA THOMAS
Sparkd Website: Sparkd Community
Personal Website: Samantha Thomas
Personal Instagram: @samanthalthomas
Personal Facebook: @samanthalthomascoaching
Podcast: You are infinitely loved
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This podcast is edited by @JonathanJK
This blog post is edited by Alison Copywriting
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